August 2004
His divorce settlement is stealing our future
Dear Andrea,
I met my husband 7 years ago. We dated for one year first and then decided to live together before we got married two years ago. At the time we met, he had a wife and two children. He was already in court attending to procedures of getting a divorce. Over these last two years, the orders from the court have meant that a lot of my husband’s salary (90%) and pension (50%) are having to be paid to the ex-wife. A lot of the procedures have felt overwhelming to me so I have just allowed my husband to get on with it and have accepted everything along the way. The problem now is that all the decisions that are being made will affect our future retirement situation together. I mention this because I have been the breadwinner of my two children always and therefore looking forward to a relaxing retirement with my now husband. Now it seems all that peace and money set aside for our time in life, will all be used up and that what I thought we would have for a good life, will no longer exist. At least most of it from his savings anyway. Please help me to understand what’s happened here and what can I do to help why I am so worried and anxious about it all.
Andrea shares,
If I understand your situation correctly here, you met your husband at a time when he was very comfortable financially and that the two of you are always working hard so that come the time of retirement, there would be plenty left for the both of you to continue having a comfortable retirement life with. In the meantime, it seems that your husband has shared with you the outcome of the court’s decision re his divorce case and that most of what you thought he had is disappearing out the door. Firstly, I would have to ask you if you have personally sighted any of these documents from the court or participated by attending any of the court procedures of your husband. I say this, because I am not aware of any divorce situation anywhere in the world where 90% of a man’s salary is given to the ex- wife. This I’m afraid would be a big question for me. And also, I am not aware for how long this 90% would be given out. It sounds like it will extend all the way through to his retirement. In this case, I would have some further personal questions for you on your relationship situation and would ask you contact me for further sharing. Your worries and anxiety are obviously very founded based on what you are saying here and I fully understand your need for some answers. Look forward to hearing from you.
Unexpected change in life direction
Dear Andrea,
I am in my mid forties and live on my own. I have been working for most of my adult years and have been lucky to have had a pretty steady career track. Recently I was let go of a working contract that I thought I would be on for a number of years still to come. This is a big shock to me. All of a sudden I feel lost and am worried about my financial status and my future. I’ve never really been good with money in terms of how to invest or save, but now feel that I better start learning about this area and prepare for when I want to retire. My children are young adults now and leading their own lives, but I also think it’s about time I consider making a Will for myself. Could you suggest to me where I could go to gain more financial savvy and also to have a Will drawn up, so that I can have some piece of mind in this time of rethinking about my life and what I will do next.
Thank you!
Andrea shares,
Life is always assured of showing us changes along the way. You are very lucky to have had a good working career up till now and I’m sure that you will find either another position shortly or possible a new time in your life to rethink about another avenue that you always wanted to pursue but never did. That said, there are many avenues here in HK that you can go to and learn about financial information. As there are too many to list here and to zoom in on some specifics, I would rather ask you some pertinent questions first. Again, in regards to planning to write your Will, there are a couple of choices here that I can suggest at the same time. Look forward to hearing from you and may I commend you on your moving forward with some great ideas for yourself and your future!
I’d like to give something back
Dear Andrea,
I have been thinking for so long now in wanting to give back to the community in ways of making a donation to a cause that is really in need and doesn’t receive large amounts of government funding. I myself had a number of years where I struggled though crisis and with the help of others managed to regain my life back and move forward to make quite a successful life for myself. I believe it’s my turn to help others. Is there anywhere that I can find out about such charities that are close to my heart and that are very much in need of funding that I could make a difference with?
Andrea shares,
What a wonderful heart you have!! As you can imagine there are many great causes in our community and I’m sure there will be some that will be very close to your heart. I would love you to share with me whether you would be more aligned with helping women in crisis, children or the elderly. This could be a good way to begin your search and a way for you to complete a very meaningful mission in your life and make a charity out there be extremely grateful!! Please call me!!
Ask Andrea
andrea@soultalk.org
There is no need to give your name if you don’t want to, but I will need your email address to reply.
If you have an email account that is shared with others, or can be viewed by others, why not set up your own free account at hotmail or yahoo.